From Fear to Freedom: The Story

Romans 8: 12-17

"Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation--but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according ot the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship (adoption). And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

This scripture has become a precious gem of life to me this month. It has slowly begun to transform my entire view of the Christian life. It is reshaping my understanding of what it means to be a justified sinner. It is gradually releasing me from the bondage of lies I have believed about God, myself and others. Praise God--He is slowly drawing me out of a "slave" or "orphan" mentality and lifestyle, and drawing me into the loving presence of His kingdom! It is one thing to read of God's family; it is another thing to take ownership of that truth and realize that YOU are in fact that unworthy sinner who has been accepted into His holy family. Around Christmastime, I felt the Lord impress on my heart to study the topic of Legalism vs. Grace. While searching my Grandmother's bookshelf on Christmas day, I came across a book called "From Fear to Freedom: Living as Sons & Daughters of God" by Rose Marie Miller. Its questions on the back immediately caught my eye. It said: "Do you:

--hate feeling "out of control"?
--work hard at being a moral person?
--build emotional "walls" in your relationships?
--do what's expected of you but then resent it?
--feel overloaded with guilt because you just can't love others?"

Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.

I brought the book home with me, showed it to my Mom, told her how excited I was about reading it. Then, I found out that it was, in fact, a book my Mom had borrowed a while ago from Rondi Lauterbach, a close family friend. Rondi had loaned it to my Mom, who read it, loaned it to my Grandma, and forgotten to give it back to Rondi when they moved out to San Diego a couple years ago. All this time, it has been on my Grandma's shelf, and now it has made its way back to me. So, not only does the book itself have a special story, but it has also been an instrument of creating a new spiritual story in my life this past month. I have read many spiritual books in my lifetime, and I can say without a doubt that this book has become one of those life-changing instruments that God uses to dramatically open His children's eyes to the reality of the Gospel.

A month of in-depth study regarding the topics of legalism, grace, condemnation, fear, freedom in Christ, particularly within the book of Romans and Galations, has been precious. And I would like to share with you the truths that God has revealed to me because of His mercy, by His grace, and ultimately for His glory. For, it is His truth that sets us free!

To give you a taste of what is to come, here are few of the mental attitudes that an "orphan" has towards himself and God: (Miller, 1994).

--Life consciously or unconsciously is centered on personal autonomy and moral will power, with grace understood as God's maintaining your own strength--not as his transforming power.

--Faith is defined as trying harder to do and be better, with a view to establishing a good record leading to self-justification.

--Obedience is related to external, visible duties, with attitudes and deeper motivation virtually ignored

--"What people think" is represented as the real moral standard, based upon visible success and failure.

--An I-am-a-victim attitude is supported by coping strategies, wall-building, blame shifting, gossiping, and defending.

--All this is accompanied by intense feelings of aloneness, believing that no one understands and that one is trapped by circumstances.

I am looking forward to sharing with you all in the weeks to come! It is truly a miracle of grace when God reveals powerful truth that re-shapes and molds us closer towards His very heart.

(Click on the Title of this post to view the book on Amazon...)

simple january days

Working: My new internship in DC has been a blessing--not only is it paid and worth 3 school credits, but I am enjoying meeting new people and learning PR skills that will serve me when I get out of school.

Music: leon fleisher's rendition of the Nocturne in D-Flat Major (Op. 27, No. 2) is amazing...I have been listening to it at work these past two weeks. even if you don't like classical music, just try listening to this mellow, peaceful music and you will be a convert.

Eating: Stella's bakery on rockville pike w/ Mom yesterday was so wonderful...we each got a decaf cap made w/ Illi espresso and then we split these 4, tiny treats: a pistachio biscotti, baklava, a sugar cookie, and an ameretto Italian almond cookie.

Reading: it is 800 pages, (I'm only around pg. 100!) set in the early 1800's in England, and involves sophisticated characters, magic, and the backdrop of the Napoleonic wars.

my well-loved Mazuno running shoes:
I have been enjoying cold, brisk walks outside, and warm, Fitness First classes inside!

Looking: A beautiful, mellow January sunset. I took this picture from the top of our roof...

Flower arranging: Lauren Lotinsky and I did this for the 10:31 youth banquet on january 13

Photography: winter berries, some alive & full, some dead & shriveled

Ollie Bollen-A Dutch Tradition

father-daughter special time

the proud "fryers"

this was taken without the cinnamon-sugar, but don't worry, we didn't forget to put it on!

(sing to the tune of "America"):
"Oh, Fryer, oh Fryer, we love what you can do.
But we will pay, later this day, if we don't stop at two!"

well, computer problems hindered me from posting earlier this week on the fun we had over new years', but finally i can tell you about it.

"Ollie Bollen". essentially, this means "oil balls" in Dutch. they are airy doughnuts filled with raisins, currants, and little chunks of green apple, which you drop into the deep fat fryer and then shake in a brown lunch bag with cinnamon-sugar. this New Year's Day tradition started a long time ago when my Oma used to have all of her children and grandchildren over to her home. we would walk inside her back door to smell that greasy, but utterly appealing, aroma of the doughnuts being fried. i remember hearing the sizzle of the hot oil and rushing down the wooden steps to see my Oma standing over the old washer and dryer with her big apron on, metal tongs in hand. when the Ollie Bollen turned that perfectly, toasted brown, we set them onto brown grocery bags to cool; then, with very generous, enthusiastic shaking of the closed lunch bag, we coated them in the cinnamon sugar. to say the least, it was, and has remained, a wonderful Dutch family tradition that I cannot wait to share with my own family someday.


in those days, it wasn't really a big problem to pound down four or five. but, alas, it isn't very safe to do that anymore. thankfully, i was able to control myself a bit more this past week. i think my sister Nora's doughnuts turned out a bit better, (mine were too dense), but i dare say we had more fun. =) who knows? maybe we'll have to start Ollie Bollen contests in the years to come! As you can see, here are a few pictures from our time together. many thanks to all my friends who came over to support us in our frying adventure.