When I am an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple

This title is in dedication to my Oma, Neeltje Jacoba Van Leeuwen Jansen, who passed away 6 years ago today, on March 25, 2001. It's funny--the spring flowers seem to have just popped up this past week, and when I saw the purple ones blooming, it made me think of this silly t-shirt that she used to wear. It was bright purple, and had "When I am an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple" written across the front in white lettering. It made all of us laugh, but she got such a kick out of it...

Oma, whose middle name Jacoba I have inherited, meant so much to me. She lived in my neighborhood for most of my life, which enriched my childhood memories immensely. Flowers were one of her favorite things--there was never a time that her garden wasn't blooming with some daffodil, pansy, or tulip. Tulips, of course, are a huge part of Holland culture, and when she came on the boat to America at age 12, it seems that she brought that love with her to California, then DC, then Silver Spring, then Gaithersburg. More than anything, I appreciated the testimony of her trust in the Lord while fighting colon cancer for 2 years. One of the last things she ever said to me was, "Emily, just trust the Lord." Her simple, yet profound statement has crossed my mind time and time again these last 6 years, as I have faced my own difficult trials.

I can imagine what she would have done on such a beautiful Spring day like this. She would wake up, go to church, socialize with all her Christian Reformed Church (CRC) members, come home, throw on a comfortable outfit, and tend to her garden. She might putz around the yard, pulling up a weed or two from her flowers beds. After that, she might have rested for a bit, soaking in the warm rays of sunshine on her back patio. If she wanted a snack, she would have poured herself a glass of cranberry juice mixed with ginger ale, and munched on some Leiden Dutch cheese and Wheat-Thins. If she called us to come over, I probably would have walked the quarter-mile, through the park that backed up to her house, and met her out in the back yard. If it got late, she would have asked me to stay for dinner, and we just might have even played a competitive game of Scrabble, cheating and all. Oh, yes. Picking your letters was never a one-time "once and done." We all reached in the bag for a 're-draw' at one point or another. =) Ahh, yes. Sweet memories...

I am thankful for her life, today. I am thankful for spring weather and pretty flowers. I am thankful for a silly T-shirt with that the ridiculous phrase written on it. Perhaps, when I myself am an old woman, I shall wear purple. =)

STARR Graham Crackers

ok, so if you're like me, graham crackers and milk is still one of the best snacks there is to have. there's something about it that reminds me of my childhood and makes it sentimental. the crispy bite, the dipping into cold milk, the slight sweetness. ahh...but have you tried these?

i discovered this particular brand--STARR RIDGE-- at Balducchi's specialty grocery store last November when I had to make a last-minute stop for S'mores ingredients. They have now become my favorite. And even though they are quite expensive ($4 for an 8 oz. box), it is completely worth the splurge. They are cinnamon flavored, which makes them taste even more delicious. sometimes i take a little hunk of dark chocolate and add it on top...

try them sometime, on one of these last cold, March afternoons when all you want to do is curl up with a blanket, a good book, and a tasty little treat.

From Fear to Freedom: God's Daughter

I ended my last discussion of this topic with the thought that we can approach God at his throne of grace. I would like to begin here again, for the Gospel is a ministry of grace, and the truth and knowledge we gain from the Word is only made possible through the grace of Jesus Christ--He has not only won our hearts, but our adoption and freedom in the family of God.

John 1:12-13 says: "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God--children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."

I demand many rights on a daily basis, from other people and myself, but how often do I pray back THIS promise of God? Christ gave me the right to become a child of God. Note, He does not mean here that we were deserving of being saved; rather, He is speaking of a bold faith that is possible because Christ's righteousness has covered our sins.

One of the things that Miller spells out in her transformation from a legalistic, defensive, self-righteous Orphan is that she realized she needed to change the object of her trust. Self-righteousness hindered her from that holy boldness, because she could only see her failures and mistakes. Trusting herself was a disappointment, and led to an orphanhood of isolation from God and others. Thus, Condemnation became the one drop of ink that ruins a whole glass of water, for as she condemned herself, she also began to condemn others. Judging them was a natural to her as judging herself.

As the Lord led her through this process of seeing the depths of her self-righteousness, God's unconditional love became clear. Indeed, knowing that she was the worst sinner brought to a humble amazement at God's mercy and love. Even as trials came, God helped Miller to grow in her heart-knowledge of the tender, sovereign ways of the Father. The chains of Fear were slowly broken, and the beauty of God's glory led her down a new path of 'daughtership'.

Ephesians 1:5 says, "In LOVE he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will--to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves."

To know that I am God's daughter is an incredible truth that breaks through our slavery to ourselves. Quoting Miller, it builds my "assurance of God as Father through knowledge of the doctrine of the Cross."
It also allows us to rely on the Spirit of God for obedience and daily acknowledgment of the Lord's will for each moment. If I know that I am daughter, God calls me to forgive others and not revoke to defensiveness and judgment of them. A holy boldness stirs me to be faithful in prayer, because I know I have a heavenly Father above who is eager and willing to hear, and answer my requests; at the same time, this holy boldness does not demand from God the exact answer to my desires, but trusts in a "plan not to be feared". Lastly, my adoption into Christ's family of believers gives me the privilege of constant intercession with the Lord for forgiveness and cleansing when I do sin and 'fall short'.

Miller ends her book with none other than the brilliant Martin Luther:

"Say thou: "O Law, thou wouldest climb up into the kingdom of my conscience, and there reprove it of sin, and take from me the joy of my heart, which I have by faith in Christ, and drive me to desperation that I may be without hope, and utterly perish. Keep within thy bounds, and exercise thy power upon the flesh: for I am baptized, and by the gospel am called to the partaking of righteousness and everlasting life."

Isn't God's glorious grace to his daughters and sons-- displayed, revealed, and made complete at the Cross of Christ-- simply amazing?! Let us continually live in this unconditional love...for we are Joint-heirs with Christ if we have confessed our sins and believed in His finished work.